Pieces of Me: Partner

You are my BBFF (Best Boy Friend Forever).

We are a team. We are very different, but also alike. We both value family, friends, cooking good food, doing meaningful work, and a sense of humor. This is the framework. You are a social butterfly, happy in the center of things; I am more of a hermit, happy to be at home. You can still do great work with many interruptions (self-created or imposed by others); I do better in quiet. You were my hardest knitting student ever, because you wanted to know why and how and what would happen if... I encourage you to make gauge swatches, rip it out and start again, have a pattern and plan. You make beautiful work without any of these things. You relate to historical dates and events in a way that is completely beyond me (in that you can retain them), while I am the prolific reader you will never be able to be. You are the one who has an enormous sense of the possible and I am the one who tells you to say no to more meetings and committees and responsibilities. That you give enough. When you burn out (only occasionally), I try not to say "I told you so." You never show these moments to your colleagues or really anyone else, but I help you pick up your pieces and reassemble them. Mostly, I am impressed with all that you are capable of giving and doing.

I am your proof-reader, your walking dictionary, sometimes your secretary, sometimes your assistant at grading papers. I know you like to eat dessert every night, that you are not bothered by greasiness on your utensil handles, and that you prefer floppy sloppy squishy pillows with feathers.
We agree about how to parent our boys. I am your champion and I am your critic. I will always tell you what I think, especially about your clothing choices (striped vest does not ever go with a striped shirt). The parents of your students remark to me that you always look so dapper at assemblies, and yup, that's me. I am the one who tells you when your pants are not school-worthy anymore. It makes me happy when your car pulls up in the driveway. We don't go to bed mad at each other.

Here is what we said to each other almost ten years ago:

Our friendship is the sacred foundation on which we have built our love.
I will always speak to you as a friend.
I promise to make you laugh and help you laugh at yourself.

I honor your individuality and I respect your opinions and needs
that are different from my own.
I take pride in your accomplishments.
I will challenge you to be your best self.

We are two trees, grown together;
we have separate roots and we grow independently.
But we lean on one another and give each other shade,
twined in an embrace for all time.
With these vows I take you as my life partner.